Flaws and All

Love Megan's idea of posting song titles for blog installment titles. Very applicable and I hope she's flattered by my imitation. Created this blog because I'm avoiding studying for a final I will inevitably fail, and therefore have to take another Zoology elective to replace the grade, bringing my last semester here total credit hours to 16, which is exactly what I didn't want. I just wasn't meant to be a student. I used to hold my own in middle school and high school but never do anything spectacular. I thrive on creativity and science suffocates me. While its fascinating, there's no room for error, and I'm a "get the gist" kind of thinker. Hence why I'm getting a BA in a science major. Stupid, yes. Getting me the eff out of school earlier, acceptable. Just can't justify jumping through busy work hoops anymore. I always thought I was the intellectual type, but apparently doing physical labor in the horse industry has overworked the other side of my brain. I'd much rather physically exhaust myself and put in a 18+ hour day of physical work then study for an hour for a test. When did I become the Juggernaut?

I'm at an odd juncture of life these days. Not so much idling and revving my engine with nowhere to go. I'm getting that itch to up and disappear again. Harder to do when you have a 1300lbs furry 4-legged beast lurking in your shadow. Owning a horse is nothing like owning a dog. Its more like having a child (a morbidly obese one that can't be transported by any normal mode of public transportation I guess in this analogy) that is incredibly breakable and sensitive, that can't ever tell you where it hurts or how they're feeling. And while I've always been on the fence about having children, I don't see myself ever feeling more fulfilled. Horseownership suits me. While it tends to tie me down to a certain geographical location on a more semi-permanent scale, it in itself is liberating. He gives me purpose, a reason to succeed, maintain relationships, stay focused, be "adult." I don't need anyone with him around. Sounds terrible and antisocial, but deep down its what gets me by.